This makes parenting stressful because our children are not us. Putting pressure on them to perform in school, participate (and win) in extra-curricular activities, and prepare for college. We try to make them into the vision of someone who we could never be. We have dreams for our children, but they are our dreams. “The fuller we are, the less projection there will be on our children,” said Dr. But children can’t fulfill the areas of our life we haven’t explored. However, whether consciously or not, many people have children because they want to fulfill some need in their life. She started by asking “Why didn’t anyone tell me this wasn’t about me feeling good?” Culturally, we have largely bought into the linear life happiness expectations of completing college, getting married, and having children. Shefali Tsabary spoke to a group of Chicagoland parents and professionals on the topic of conscious parenting and challenged us all to think differently about the way we parent our children. How about the comparison game? Comparing to how your parents raised you, what the latest parenting book says (the one that is utterly contradictory to that last one you read), or what fills your Facebook feed?Īll these factors make parenting even more exhausting than it already is! Why do we do these things to ourselves? Because we feel we have to?ĭr. Ever feel like you’re following a script as a parent? Checking off boxes on a checklist that has been prescribed by others around you?
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